Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:
A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.
THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCKKKKKKK
This makes me very happy. Almost unreasonably so.
what if khan’s blood does eventually turn kirk into a homicidal madman and that’s how we get mirrorverse kirk
#but no think about it #what if all of these movies are just leading to a mirror ‘verse? #how terrible can we make spock prime feel? #what if every version that is not the ‘original’ is a kind of mirror? #that the original was the only ‘verse that achieved that ‘utopia’ #because it’s such a difficult and fragile ideal #that pretty much anything will lead to it #(I mean it would explain so much: #the militarization of Starfleet #and the casual sexism #and promotion through death and emotional abuse #and casual violations of protocol without lasting consequence #and people not really caring about a planet or a major metropolitan area being destroyed #or people in positions of authority having not quite appropriate ‘interactions’ with those of a lower rank #and wow I’m suddenly almost ‘ok’ with the reboot’s story arc #it’s ok people! We are just heading toward mirror ‘verse #the last scene of the last movie will be the mirror ‘verse emblem and it will all make sense) #(lies I tell myself) (tags via itreallyisthelittlethings)
Holy crap. This is fantastic.
Because hell yeah - promotion via death (“Oh, our CMO bought it in that last attack? Looks like you’ve got the job now, McCoy” - what the hell, that’s not how the chain of command works!), acting captain (Spock) and ex-first officer (Kirk) get into punch-up on deck and not alone an ordinary fight, Spock is very nearly strangling him to death, and everyone just stands there and looks on? Where the hell were Security in that scene? Nobody called them? Nobody - not even McCoy - tries to pull Spock off Kirk?
We go from Spock not wanting to assign Uhura to the Enterprise in order to “avoid the appearance of favoritism” (translation: ‘everyone will think you only got the posting because we’re screwing’) to Carol Marcus and That Scene because while you do need to be good at your job, the unspoken addendum that everyone knows is that it does no harm to flash the goods for the guy in charge so he knows what’s on offer.
No rank badges on the women’s uniforms unless they’re wearing the long-sleeved version of the uniform - not that far from the midriff-baring uniforms of mirror!verse for the women.
No attempt to evacuate the people in San Francisco or even, as far as we can see, have a warning siren blaring as Enterprise and Vengeance scream through the atmosphere overhead - why, is this because screw them, they’re only dumb civilians?
The only way the scene in Starfleet Headquarters with ‘Harrison’ makes sense is if Admiral Marcus is string-pulling: “Oh my, we’re just having a top secret high security meeting with the ranking Starfleet officers after a terrorist attack on one of our facilities, so of course we’re having it in an unshielded room with ceiling-to-floor windows where the guy responsible for that bomb can fly up right up to the window and blow you all away, conveniently leaving me in sole charge to prosecute my plans”?
Heading for the mirror!verse makes a scary amount of sense. Vulcan (the voice of reason as most everyone accepts, the one planet which had a restraining effect on Terra because come on, the Tellarians and the Andorians aren’t even at the races in reboot) is gone. Starfleet is on a war footing, whether that’s admitted or not (they actively went out looking for potential threats after Nero which is how they found the Botany Bay and Khan), there’s not a word about the civilian government of the Federation - the President and Council - which makes it seem like Starfleet is the one body making decisions on a grand scale.
Nearly thirty years of paranoia after Nero (the destruction of the Kelvin may have had a huge effect on skewing the development of both Starfleet’s approach and civilian politics) resulting in militarisation, seeing enemies and potential enemies everywhere, an attitude of “you could be killed in the morning through no fault of your own”, ‘dead men’s shoes’ being acceptable as a career ladder, casual sexism and trading sexual favours for promotion/better opportunities being accepted within Starfleet, casual and routine lying on reports (see how outraged Kirk is that Spock told the truth about what happened on Nibiru!) leading to blatant ditching of the Prime Directive, the perception that the only way Terra will be truly safe is to get them before they can get us - it’s easy to see it happening.
Maybe the reason we don’t hear about Tarsus IV and how it affected reboot Kirk (because a traumatic event like that would certainly explain why he turned out to be “the Mid-West’s only genius-level repeat offender”) is that in this universe, the Governor is not regarded as Kodos the Executioner, but Kodos the Saviour - after all, he kept half the population alive until the relief ships could arrive, and without his forward thinking, determination and leadership, a lot more people would have died for no good reason (instead of being sacrificed as ‘useless mouths’ for the fit to survive).
This is brilliant.